Her Time!

She has been feeling it for a while now – the sense of awakening. There is a gentle range simmering inside her, and it is getting stronger by the day. She will it hold it close to her – she will nurture it and let it grow. She won’t let anyone take it away from her. It is her rocket fuel and finally she is going to places. She can feel it down to her very core. This is her time. She will not only climb mountains, she will move them too.

You!

You. Yes you. I am writing this for you.

I know you are reading this. And I want you to know I am writing this for you. No one else will understand. No one else knows. They think that this is for them. But it’s not. I am writing this for you.

I want you to know, life….it’s hard. Everyday can be a challenge. It can be a challenge to get up in morning. To get yourself out of bed. To put on that smile. You need to remember, even through the tough times, you are amazing. You really are!

You should be happy. You are gorgeous.

I know that the weather might not be perfect. You might have to turn your back to the wind or feel the cold nipping at your nose. But you know what, atleast you are there to feel it. At least you can enjoy the Sun’s warm rays on your face. You know what it means?

You are alive.

Everything will be okay.

A Woman!

There’s a rumour going around that boys are more tougher than girls. Oh please, can you carry a 7lb baby in your stomach for 9 months and survive hours of labor? Can you cook, clean and talk on the phone all at the same time? Can you bleed for a week and not die? Can you walk in 5 Inch heels? Can you cry all night and then wake up the next day like everything is okay?

Remember guys, women are only helpless till their nail polish dries.

Voice!

There is a voice inside of you
That whispers all day long,
“I feel that this is right for me,
I know that this is wrong.”
No teacher, parent , friend
Or wise man can decide
What’s right for you,
“Just listen to the voice that speaks inside”.

I Dare you!

Her dreams shattered, her hands empty, but her soul is on fire, still her heart filled with desire still.

It takes tsunami to demolish a dry land, she declares ” it would take Tsunamis to break me too.”

So she faces the ocean fearlessly everyday, and whispers the words- ” I DARE YOU”.

Run Away!

I want to run away
I want to go somewhere new
A place where no one knows me
And i don’t know anyone.
Somewhere i can find peace and serenity
Where i can walk down the streets and no one knows my secrets
No one knows the mistake I’ve made
Or the people I’ve hurt.
When they start to find out what kind of person i am,
The things I’ve done
The life I have lived
I’ll disappear
It will be like i was never there.

Disconnect!

Every now and again, and more often than not, disconnect.

Disconnect from everything that doesn’t light a fire in your soul. Set down your phone, shut off your computer, tuck away your planner, and reconnect with everything that does light a fire in your soul.

Spend time in nature to reacquaint yourself with the towering trees, the soft grass, and the mirroring lake.

Spend time with the ones you love without distraction. Be with them with only intention of simple being present with them.

Spend time reading or painting, walking or dancing or things that slow down time for you and allow you to reconnect.

Thought Catalogue!

You may wake up one day and find you don’t recognize the person you see in the mirror. Or sometimes it happens gradually,day by day, you can feel yourself growing more distant from who you really are.

You may lose interest in the things you used to love, or you may find yourself utilizing other interests. You may find yourself feeling more fearless than ever before, or all you may want to do is hide away until these feelings pass

A world full of irony!

Never have I seen
such a mess in life.

The air is pure but
wearing a mask is
mandatory.

Roads are empty
but it is impossible
to go on long drive.

People have clean
hands but there is a
ban on shaking hands.

Friends have time to
sit together but they
cannot get together.

The cook inside you
is crazy, but you cannot
call anyone to lunch or
dinner.

On every Monday..
the heart longs for the
office but the weekend
does not seem to end.

Those who have money
have no way to spend it.

Those who don’t have
money have no way to
earn it.

There is enough time
on hand but you can’t
fulfill your dreams.

The culprit is all around
but cannot be seen.

Simple Things!

Sometimes we get so caught up in life that we forget that we don’t always have to be busy, we don’t need to be checking our e-mails or rushing to the next thing. We need to remind ourselves that it’s okay and absolutely necessary to slow it all down. To take a break and enjoy nature. To turn off the tv and simply be together. To enjoy the game of cards. To ask our parents what they’re wondering about. To call our grand parents. To watch the sunrise. To enjoy the smell of the wet sand. We must never forget to enjoy the little things because they are never as little as we think.

The Real Pandemic!

You sit by a window, watching a cloud turn into a astonishing dark.

The roads are empty, the wallet is weak, all you keep saying to yourself is : ” Oh my, the future is so fleak.”

Pandemic out there, please beware the sound of paid media murmurs into your ears.

Oh what bought us here , you ask yourself.

You now want to wash your hands every single given chance, wish you did same for your sins.

You now want to disinfect your home, wish you did the same for your soul.

And everyday you frown to wear a medical mask, yet you have been wearing a physical one all your life hiding yourself from yourself.

Wish you had courage to face your fears.

Hope one day the rain will truly arrive. It will wash and cleanse your soul. And then the skies will be clear to an Indigo you have only imagined in a fairy tale.

The truth is there is no Pandemic. Nature is just doing what it knows best, to EVOLVE.

But have you evolved?

Are you free or are you still caged?

A letter to Cancer!

It may seem like you may have control in my life right now, but you really don’t.Your presence only makes me stronger, braver, kinder and wiser.

I chose how I think, what I speak and how I love. You will never be able to touch those things. NEVER.

The fear of your name no longer haunts my soul. Because I know that my soul belongs to me and to god. You may take my claim on this frail outershell but never on my divine spirit that cries out ” I am not my body”.

My soul will run, leap and tower over your attempts to pull me down into despair. Those who surround me will fight with me to let it be known that we will not surrender.

Our hearts and souls are tied together in a lasting bond that no amount of your impeding growth can break.

You see Cancer, you DO NOT owe me. I owe myself.

And I will survive.

Your Truly,

A fighter.

Anxiety!

Let me tell you how it feels to worry all the time. To feel as if you are trapped. A constant wall. It stops you in your tracks. And then the panic sets in. Heartbeat fast, cold chills, begin to sweat, feets and hands go numb. Taste of metal. Ringing ears. Everything too loud. You feel like everyone is watching. Witnessing your weakness. Everyday its the same. You wish you didn’t care, that it didn’t feel like this. But, it does. And it will for a long time. You try to reach out. But you are slowly sinking into a bit of darkness, scrambling for a hand. To pull you out if it’s depth. But no one listens.

That is Anxiety.

Silence!

My silence means I am tired of fighting and now there is nothing left to fight for. My silence means I am tired of explaining my feelings to people, but now I don’t have energy to explain them anymore.

My silence means I have adapted to the changes in my life and I don’t want to explain. My silence means I am on a self healing process and I am trying to forget everything I ever wanted from people.

My silence means I am just trying to move on gracefully with all my dignity.

Sleepless Nights!

Those nights when you toss and turn in bed trying to fall asleep, but your mind won’t allow you. You just lay there and think. You think about every little possible thing that is going on in your life. You think of your friends, your family, your feelings, and your worries, or may be you don’t and you end up reminiscing about the past.

About the people who walked out on you, who impacted your life, who disappeared on you and who changed the way you are. In those moments where you can’t fall asleep, that’s when you do all of your thinking and you know what?

It’s scary.

This Woman!

This woman has fought a thousand battles & is still standing. Has cried a thousand tears & is still smiling. Has been broken, betrayed,abandoned, rejected. But she still walks proud, laugh out loud, lives without fear, loves without doubt. This woman is humble, This woman is me.

Keep it Real!

I can talk for hours and listen to you for days. And although I think I am right most of the time, I won’t argue with you over it, I think of it as a crime. You can take me to the park and play soft music. But if I ever feel upset, some alone time I find healing. I day dream too much and my goals are set too high and that might make me over sensitive but I’ll still try. If I trust you, I’ll be selfless in trying to make you happy. But don’t misuse my love, sadness isn’t a far off alley.

True Love!

I don’t think most people understand what true love is. It’s not the cheesy “couple goals” post for Instagram. It’s not the fancy dates, the happy hours or the majestic nights laughing at silly movies. True love is waking up in the middle of the night to help you when you’re sick because I don’t want you to be sick alone. It’s being your shoulder to cry on, to vent to. True love is being your biggest cheerleader and toughest critic. True love is looking at each other on a spiritual level, a level so deep, that you can feel them when they’re gone. True love is six little words,”no matter what, I got you.”

An Ode To Fearless Women!

Defined by no man, you are your own story blazing through the world, turning history into herstory.

And when they dare to tell you about all the things you cannot be, just smile and tell them-

“I am both war and woman and you cannot stop me”

Characterless!

If she has more male friends than she is characterless. If she is wearing some clothes which expose her body part she is characterless. If she loves to hangout with friends she is characterless. If she is using abusive words than she is characterless. If she says something in her protection she is characterless. If a boy can do all this things he is cool. If woman wears a saree exposing 5 inch of her waist she is sanskari. We live in this kind of society and then we celebrate women’s day.. we need to change the mentality before it’s too late.!

Letting go!

I let go of people, I wanted to keep around forever. To me that’s became my biggest strength. If you know me, you’ll know my heart’s big and love is unconditional. If I let you go, it was for a reason that don’t need an explanation, other than it wasn’t me. It was you.

Teardrops!

If I showed you my teardrops, would you collect it like rain? Store them in jars and label them with Pain. Would you follow their tracks from my eyes down to my cheeks? As they write all the stories I am too scared to speak. Bring their flow to a halt, as you teach me that pain isn’t always my fault. Would you hold my face gently, as you dry both my eyes, and whisper the words, ” You’re too precious to cry”. If I showed you my teardrops, would you show me your own, and learn though we’re lonely, we’re never alone.

Healing from Abuse!

People forget that abuse is damaging, but it’s aftermath is permanent.

Your body will heal and so will your mind, but when things heal they leave scars behind.

You owe no one an explanation, a reason , a defence for who you become after you survive.

No title, just Vibes!

We are often let down by the most trusted people and loved by the most unexpected ones. Some make us cry for things we haven’t done, while other ignores our fault and just see our smiles. Some leave us when we need them the most, while some stay with us even when we ask them to leave. The world is the mixture of people. We just need to know which hand to shake and which hand to hold. After all that’s life, learning to hold on and learning to let go.

The Mind!

I was the type of person, that held onto things to tight, unable to release my grip, when it no longer felt right. And although it gave my blisters,and my fingers would all ache, I always thought that holding on, was worth the pain it takes, I use to think in loosing things, I’d lose a part of me too, That slowly I’d become someone, my heart no longer knew. Then one day something happened, I dropped what I had once held dear, but my soul became much lighter, instead of filled with fear,and it taught my heart that some things, aren’t meant to last for long, they arrive to teach you lessons, and they continue on, you don’t have to cling to people, who no longer make you smile, or do something you’ve come to hate, if it isn’t worth your while, that sometimes the things you are fighting for, isn’t worth the cost, and not everything you ever lose, is bound to be a loss.

Her Name Will Be Fearless!

And in all the stories my daughter shall hear, it will not be princes that slay the dragons, but little girls that believes in magic with big, brave hearts and even bigger dreams.

She will learn to rely on her own sword in every battle, in every struggle, in every war, because she will learn how to devour every single monster from their very core.

Life is a book!

You can’t skip chapters, that’s not how life works. You have to read every line, meet every characters. You won’t enjoy all of it. Hell, some chapters will make you cry for a weeks. You will read things you don’t want to read, you will have moments when you don’t want pages to end. But you have to keep going. Stories keeps the world revolving. Live yours, don’t miss out.

Single Life!

If you’re single, do not worry about finding someone. Instead enjoy yourself. Eat good food.Travel to new places.Laugh with people you’ve nothing in common with.Do whatever makes you happiest. You are not in need of an “other half”. You are already whole. If you meet someone, then you will still be whole.Tell yourself you’re wonderful. Don’t hangout with anyone who makes you feel like you’re not. You don’t need anyone to be happy. Focus on yourself, and everything else will eventually fall into place.

The Truth About Your Heart!

Your heart will fix itself. It’s your mind you need to worry about. Your mind where you locked the memories, your mind where you have kept pieces of the ones that hurt you, that still cut through you like shards of glasses.

Your mind will keep you up at night, make you cry, destroy you over and over again.

You need to convince your mind that it has to let go… because your heart already knows how to heal.

She’s Changed!

Then all of sudden she changed. She came back a completely different person with a new mindset, a new outlook, a new soul.

A girl that once care way too much about everyone and everything no longer cared at all.

Wars Inside You

There are silences inside you that you are yet to explore. There are things inside you that are still fighting a war.

Some days will be unkind. Some days you will want to forget. But stay for those days that are worth more than all the rest.

Be easy on your soul, it needs softness, it needs time, it needs patience.

Trauma Steals Your Voice

People get so tired of asking you what’s wrong and you’ve run out of “nothing” to tell them.

You’ve tried and they’ve tried, but the words just turn to ashes everytime they try to leave your mouth.

They start as fire in the pit of your stomach, but come out in a puff of smoke.

You are not you anymore and you don’t know how to fix this.

The worst part is…you don’t even know how to try.

Self Love

Once when I was running from all the haunted me, to the dark I was succumbing to what hurt unbearably…

Searching for the one thing, that would set my sad soul free…

In time I stumbled upon it, an inner calm and peace and now I am beginning to see and to believe, in who I am becoming and all I’ve yet to be…

Silent Tears

She doesn’t leave a trace of any pain or suffering through the day,

But the stillness of the late night breaks her brave facade and makes her pillow a little damp.

Around this time, when every cell in her body wants to scream in pain, all she could let out was silent tears.

Apology!

Dear Mummy and Papa,

I’m sorry that I am not the perfect daughter you ever wanted, I’m sorry that I was never good enough no matter how much I tried I always disappointed you.

Do you know your own daughter? Did you know I was never happy in school? Did you notice my fake smiles and scars? Did you notice that your own daughter is turning into a psychopath? Did you notice that I always cried myself to sleep and the stains on my pillow? Did you notice that I was not the same girl I use to be or the guy with brown eyes turned me into a monster?

Did you notice that I did not laugh I used to be? How could you , when I have become so good at faking laughs. Did you notice how broken I’m, I lay every night drunken out of my mind.

Did you know I had panic attacks at school all the time, or I had no friends at school? Did you ever notice how lonely and alone I am all the time? You don’t know your own daughter, all you see fake smiles, the happy girl you see , isn’t who she is.

I had no idea how to tell you, that I’m so broken, since so long. I don’t know how to tell you that I’m not fine without hurting you, I can’t see you hurt, so I smile like everything is fine, I try my best but trust me I’m not lazy, I’m just exhausted. I’m sorry I couldn’t be a perfect daughter with perfect grades, I’m sorry I failed in life but I promise I’ll pretend that I’m all fine, just to see you smile.

Your,

Daughter

Just Breathe

Breathe…you’re going to be okay, you’ve been here before..you’ve been this scared, uncomfortable, anxious and you survived…

Breathe and know that you can Survive this too..I know it all feels unbearable right now , just breathe…keep breathing…this too shall pass…

It’s a promise🤞

An open letter to Myself

Dear Me,

I am sorry..

I’m sorry that you tried so desperately to fix others, when your own hands were shaking. I’m sorry that I didn’t give you enough time to heal, that I let you seal the wounds of everyone else whilst your own were bleeding. I’m sorry there were days when smiling hurt but you forced yourself to laugh so that no one had to worry about you. I’m sorry that you gave all the time and efforts to people that didn’t gave same amount back. I’m sorry that there were night when you cried yourself to sleep and no one bothered to understand why, and I’m so sorry that I did not loved myself like i deserve to be loved..!!😊

Black and White

She could be both, peace in the morning or madness of the night. You could see it in her smile or hear it in her laughter… But, stories were told by the eyes, because in between the laugh and smile the color changed from dark to hazel, from coffee to whiskey like from getting off that hangover to getting forever drunk, never sober.